


Like Flames In The Darkness

by violasarecool



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Character, Siblings, Sparring, sith pureblood agent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 15:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21376609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: adventures on rainy dromund kaas; a glimpse of a young kadaiz and zir two older siblings in happier times, before they realize kadaiz will never be force sensitive.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Like Flames In The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> i'd say kadaiz is about 8 here, making dzoyâna 10 and shâsot 11. qorum and rhûsk don't feature bc no one wants to play with the 5 year old, and rhûsk is all of _3 years old_.

"Come on!" Kadaiz skidded across the muddy ground, wet hair plastered to zir face. It had stopped raining as soon as they left Kaas City, but the grey clouds that served a permanent backdrop to the looming forests were always moments away from flooding the rain-soaked ground.

Dzoyâna, trudging behind a somewhat more enthusiastic Shâsot, made an irritated noise. "This is a bad idea," she grumbled, kicking muddy water at Shâsot's ankles. 

"Hey!" Shâsot jumped back, shaking his feet off, though the brown muck was already oozing into his shoes.

"What, are you _scared?"_ Kadaiz called, turning to shoot Dzoyâna a wicked grin—one that Shâsot mirrored a moment later.

"No!" Dzoyâna snarled. "But mom's going to be mad if we go out there when she _told_ us to stay put!"

Kadaiz's grin fell, expression clouding into something darker. "She's always mad," zie said quietly. "So why does it matter?"

Dzoyâna and Shâsot exchanged an uncomfortable look. "Fine," Dzoyâna said after a moment, with a quick shake of her head. "Let's go."

They tromped down into the hollowed out basin that sat not 2 miles from the main hub of Kaas City, tree roots curling around the walls of earth on either side of them. Shâsot stood at the far end, the ground gently sloping away from him towards Kadaiz, zir back turned to stare out at the distant fog of the treeline. It wasn't that no one else came out this way, but those that did were on speeders, preferring the easy path and smoother ground almost half a mile off. And at this time of night, with the storm threatening to renew its watery barrage?

They might as well be in their own little world.

"Well?" Shâsot said, shifting his feet across the dirt, and Kadaiz turned to look at him, arms crossed. "Are you gonna be gloomy all day, or are you gonna hit me?"

"You don't even have your lightsaber out," Kadaiz scoffed, making as if to walk past him toward Dzoyâna, before pulling zir arm back at the last moment to smack him on the side of the head.

Shâsot shoved zir back, and Kadaiz skipped away, laughing. "You said to hit you," Kadaiz called.

Shâsot stuck out his tongue at zir. "With your _lightsaber._"

"Then get it out," Dzoyâna put in; there was a sizzling hum as Dzoyâna's saber flickered on, the light casting faint shadows across the wide basin. She touched the end of the blade lightly to the muddy ground, watching impassively as it sizzled on the grass, a faint line of smoke trickling into the air.

Shâsot narrowed his eyes at the bright blade. "Is it turned down?" he asked sharply.

"Yes!" Dzoyâna shot back.

"Doesn't look like it," Shâsot said, holding out a hand; the blade sucked back into the handle in a rush, lightsaber floating toward him.

"Hey!" Dzoyâna gave a belated swipe at it as it swooped out of reach. "It _is!"_ she protested.

Shâsot turned his hand over, letting the hilt fall into his hand. He turned it on, pulsing red light playing across the beginnings of a grin. "C'mere."

"Why," Dzoyâna said warily.

Shâsot's grin turned sharp. "Don't you trust me?" He flipped the lightsaber idly, letting the blade waver just inches from Kadaiz's arm. Kadaiz shot him a narrow look, but didn't move. "It's turned down, right?" He made a sudden sweep forward, and Dzoyâna jumped as the saber thrummed past her ear. Kadaiz snorted.

"Don't do that!" Dzoyâna exclaimed, glaring at him.

"It's fine," Shâsot protested. He tapped the blade against his sleeve, and the light crackled on contact, leaving them with a faint burning smell. Still, the sleeve was in one piece. 

"Told you," Dzoyâna huffed. She held out a hand, and her lightsaber tugged itself out of his hand, zipping back toward her with one decisive motion.

Shâsot turned to see Kadaiz watching hungrily. "Still haven't gotten it yet?" he asked, and Kadaiz glanced at him sharply, zir expression stricken. After a moment, zir gaze dropped to the ground.

"No." 

Shâsot watched as zie scuffed the grass with zir foot, glowering at the soggy greens as if the force of zir glare would do what years of training, beration, and disappointment had failed to. "Try again," Shâsot suggested, unhooking his own lightsaber to hold it up in front of zir, open in his palm.

Kadaiz gave Dzoyâna a sideways glance, but she just shrugged. Kadaiz sighed. Zie took a deep breath, closed zir eyes, and reached out—both physically and with zir mind, hand stretching towards Shâsot even as zie struggled to find some hint of the Force around zir. _Use your anger,_ zir father's voice echoed, and zie bit down until zie tasted blood, pain and frustration and humiliation filling zir senses.

And even still...

Nothing.

After a minute or so, arms shaking, breath hissing through teeth clenched against the burning threat of tears, zie slumped forward, seething, full of awful emotion and yet somehow... empty, of the only thing that mattered. "Stupid," Kadaiz muttered, wiping a hand roughly across zir face.

Shâsot lowered his hand, fingers tightening around the hilt of his lightsaber. "Maybe later," he said weakly.

Dzoyâna snorted. "Let's fight already," she said, igniting her saber; it jerked to life, the sound tugging Kadaiz upright with it. Zie met Dzoyâna's eyes, saber already in zir hand by force of instinct and hard-ingrained habit. As zie lit zir lightsaber, zie felt a thrill of anticipation, adrenaline shooting through zir in a way that no amount of dusty Force relics or endless history lessons could ever compare. _At least I don't need the Force to use a lightsaber,_ Kadaiz thought grimly.

_Or to beat your ass,_ zir mind added, and zir eyes narrowed over a watery grin—teeth bared to the fight. Behind zir, there was a hiss as Shâsot's lightsaber sent light spilling forward between Kadaiz's legs and toward Dzoyâna. Zir grin widened; Dzoyâna might attack while zir back was turned, but Shâsot wouldn't. Which meant—zie widened zir posture, not waiting for Shâsot to angle around before launching zirself at Dzoyâna.

Their sabers crashed together, heavy, forceful blows that barely pulled back in time to block Shâsot's late attack. Parry, step, thrust—Kadaiz ducked a wide swing from Dzoyâna, dipping with the ground to come back up on her other side, saber flashing almost faster than zir own eyes could track, pure instinct sending zir up then forward to follow the arc of Shâsot's blade just inches away.

Thunder crackled with their blades, drips of wetness splattering the hot plasma in bursts as the clouds spat out half-hearted rain, steam hissing with each little droplet. What little moonlight remained was soon covered by clouds and rain, bright red searing onto their eyes in the thick darkness. They circled and twisted around each other over increasingly muddy ground, white and red flashing until it was all Kadaiz could see. 

_Is this what the Force feels like?_ A crackle of blades to the left, a flash of red skin illuminated by a skittering glancing parry—zie couldn't tell anymore which figure was which sibling. There was only light and darkness. Only the blades. Only zir instincts.

The rain began to come down more heavily, water careening down in thick sheets that sizzled and sputtered over the heat of their lightsabers, steam hissing in wide clouds now. Kadaiz waved zir saber uncertainly, one foot slipping on the slick muddy ground; beside zir, there was a loud smack as one of the other figures lost their footing entirely and crashed to the ground, saber extinguishing as they fell.

"Kadaiz?" the standing figure said—Dzoyâna's voice—and Kadaiz blinked against the stream of water pouring down zir face, squinting through the darkness. 

"No," Kadaiz said; they both stared down at the figure sprawled on the ground. "Shâsot?"

"Ow," Shâsot said weakly. "It's raining pretty hard now, huh?"

Dzoyâna tipped her head up to stare at the dark sky, saber held above her like a smoke signal. "Can we go _now?"_ she asked pointedly.

Kadaiz heaved Shâsot to his feet. "Don't pretend you weren't having fun," Kadaiz said, as Shâsot carefully hooked his saber back onto his belt.

"We could've fought at _home,"_ Dzoyâna said. "Inside. Where it's dry."

Kadaiz rolled zir eyes.

_"Boring,"_ Shâsot said. "Who wants that?" The wind picked that moment to send a particularly icy gust barrelling through them; Shâsot stumbled backward, shivering violently. "Okay, fine," he said, raising his hands, "I kind of want that."

Dzoyâna shook her head, teeth chattering. "Let's go home," she mumbled, extinguishing her lightsaber.

"Last one home's a rotten fish-face!" Kadaiz crowed, taking off at a run.

"No fair!" Dzoyâna shouted, the cold immediately forgotten. She and Shâsot took off after Kadaiz, their shouted insults echoing in the quiet of the night; filthy with mud and rain and slipping with every step. Feet sore, fingers numb—and mouths aching from grinning.


End file.
